Marathon’s four-day Server Slam wrapped up yesterday, leaving me in the lurch until I get my hands back on it on Thursday—a sentiment shared by fellow PC Gamer Morgan Park after sinking 21 hours into it over the weekend.
During the Server Slam, Bungie were monitoring your every move, from how many people made it out of Tau Ceti alive each match, how many UESC robots we killed, and the most important stats: how much Premium Tick Milk and Drinkable Cheeseburgers we hauled outta there.
Stats of what you all got up to during Server Slam! pic.twitter.com/CV5U7kQbgjMarch 3, 2026
The answer is 145,822 cases of Premium Tick Milk and a whopping 384,866 Drinkable Cheeseburgers. Neither item sounds too tasty but they’re considered valuable items in-game, fetching a fair price for taking them off-world. And just in case you’re thinking a liquid burger sounds scrumptious, take a look at the can—complete with two straws for you and a friend to slurp—and you’ll see the tagline “Tastes like meat. Isn’t.” Yeah, I’m not sold.
As for the decidedly less important statistics Bungie shared from the Server Slam, it’s clear that things got pretty hairy on Tau Ceti. Out of 16,554,683 deaths, 9,152,844 of them were caused by other players. Crunching the numbers, that’s just over 55% of deaths being the result of PvP, with the UESC robots claiming the other 7,401,839.
If you’ve played Marathon, then that’s likely not all that surprising. The UESC are absolutely lethal, especially when you’re a new player—I saw lots of players complaining about dying in the tutorial, so that’s plus one to the UESC. However, with very limited ammo and healing, I’d say more experienced players were much more efficient against the UESC, often avoiding them entirely, leaving other players as the ultimate grim reaper on Tau Ceti.
I’d be very interested in comparing these PvP vs PvE statistics with Arc Raiders, where the majority of mine and most other players, it seems, are oddly peaceful for an extraction shooter. Anecdotally, I’ve died to Arc machines way more than I have to other players, which is a sharp contrast to Marathon.
On a similar note, Bungie has revealed the exfil rate for each of the Server Slam maps, and it’s looking pretty dire. Brace yourself: Perimeter had a depressing 41.8% exfil rate, but Dire Marsh clocked in at an even lower 35.6%. The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t take your best gear into Dire Marsh, because you’re almost certainly going to lose it. But hey, that’s just being generous and gifting your loot to someone else, so it’s not all bad.
And with lethal UESC and even more deadly players, leading to a gravely low chance of extracting in one piece? Yeah, I’m not surprised that the stealthy Assassin ended up being the most popular Shell of the Server Slam.
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