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I'm sorry, but I'm here to say that I really do not enjoy parrying stuff in videogames

Nightmare scenario: Your friend tells you about the cool new game everyone is playing. It’s turn-based combat. Oh hell yeah, you love turn-based combat! You rush to buy the game on said friend’s recommendation. You engage in combat for the very first time. You press a button to parry an att- wait. What the hell? Why is there a PARRY BUTTON in my TURN-BASED VIDEOGAME? Was my friend ever really my friend? Why else would they commit such an abhorrent act of betrayal?

Much like how every videogame once shoved at least one pointless QTE segment into itself, or contorted itself into being open-world even when it made no sense, or how I once insisted on dragging half my hair across one eye in an attempt to go full MySpace—trends (for better or worse) seep their way into our lives.

Maelle attacks an enemy in Clair Obscur: Expedition 33.

(Image credit: Kepler Interactive)

Parrying is something I don’t recall having much presence in the games I grew up with. Granted I was mostly squirreled away in my Mum’s conservatory playing some hundred-hour JRPG, but still. Games that required you to parry attacks stayed firmly in their own little corner, and I in mine.

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